12 November 2005

Borat Sagdiyev

Borat sound board Borat sound board 2

wah wa wee waaaa

Borat at the MTV Europe Awards 2005Introduction to the show
"Welcome to the 2005 Eurovision Song Contest."
Following Madonna's performance
"That singer before me. Who was it? It was very courageous of MTV to start the show with a genuine transvestite, he was very convincing. It was only his hands and his testi satchels that gave it away."
Introducing Coldplay
"Next is one of the most famous bands in the world. We all love very much. Please enjoy... Green Day!"
Introducing The Pussy Cat Dolls
"Please prepare yourself for masturbation because next are international singing prostitutes, Pussy Cat Dolls."
After introducing Akon
(Borat whispers to little Kazkhstani child), "quick Akon's on stage, dressing room 8. See what you can take."
Introduction to Gorillaz
"There is one singer called Shakira... sorry I laugh because in Kazakhstan this word means vagina. For example, 'Can I touch your shakira?' or 'I have seen your wife's shakira, it hangs like the mouth of a tired dog."
Introducing Green Day
(Borat is dressed in a very revealing wrestling lycra costume), "Hello it is me, Freddy Mercury. I joking, he die of AIDS. It me Borat, I not a la la loo lee. The only sex disease I ever have is gonoreah. 15 times! The ladies like Borat! Now please welcome Coldplay."

Chatting to co-presenter Brittany Murphy
"Very nice. Whah whah we whah! I imagine you with no clothes. Borat is getting fat."

At the press conference
"My 13-year-old son is travelling here by foot, with his two wives and his three childrens." "If he survives the journey I have promised him that he can make penetration with Colombian prostitute Shakira.""I look forward to meeting Jennifer Rush, Level 42 and Terence Trent D'Arbay," "Oh and the Thompson Twins."

In interview with the BBC
"My retard brother Vilo is not able to come as he is retarded and his cage would not fit on the plane.""Unfortunately my wife was unable to leave Kazakhstan as she is a woman... this is a good news, she is a boring. High Five!!!""We celebrate with a men's only party in my hotel room where we will play ping pong, wrestle totally nude and shoot dogs from the balcony."
To finish the show
"To the world, I love you! Apart from Uzbekistan. Assholes."

taken from cnn(for real!!!) UPDATE
ALMATY, Kazakhstan (Reuters) -- A British comedian who uses a boorish, sexist and racist Kazakh alter ego called Borat to poke fun at interviewees has responded to a legal threat from the Kazakh authorities by satirically welcoming the move.
Sacha Baron Cohen, who plays the spoof Kazakh television reporter in his "Da Ali G Show", incurred the wrath of Kazakhstan's Foreign Ministry this month after appearing as Borat at the annual MTV Europe Music Awards.
He described shooting dogs for fun and said his wife could not leave Kazakhstan as she was a woman. The Foreign Ministry said his behavior was unacceptable and that Cohen might be serving political orders to tarnish Kazakhstan's reputation.
Responding in character as Borat, Cohen, who is Jewish, said: "I like to state, I have no connection with Mr Cohen and fully support my government's position to sue this Jew."
"Since 2003 ... Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world," .
"Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hat and age of consent has been raised to eight years old."
One Western diplomat in the Central Asian state's biggest city Almaty said he at least partly sympathized with the Kazakh government in trying to set the record straight.
"They are damned if they do (respond) and damned if they don't," he said. "It's sort of unfortunate that he hit upon Kazakhstan."